If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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