when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
My butt remains clenched, sir.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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