The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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