I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I didn't notice because vodka
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
