So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
