So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Randomize
