if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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