yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
