Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
