Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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