She said her name was "party"
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Im part way to drunk.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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