I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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