I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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