is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You dont lie about slip and slides
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
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