508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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