i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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