oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
