Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
