my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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