Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Randomize
