508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Congratulations! We have a period
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