we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
