The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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