so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
