i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Houston, we have a squirter
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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