yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
