we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
