Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
