those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
