I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Barsexuality is the new black.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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