Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
