Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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