I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
