people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
