Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Randomize
