Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
