I can text with my tongue
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
