Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
