I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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