my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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