i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
