I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Hippo gnu deer
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
