that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
