How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
