would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
It's shark week go big or go home
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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