I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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