I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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