NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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