Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
that is very illegal...i love you.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
