I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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